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after taking a fresh sage bath with candles
i hopped onto the computer trying to learn my family history.
but it’s hard to learn your family history when the internet only recognizes the white in you, when tu mama can only go so far explaining the mexicana side, unable to tell me what her grandmothers history was. i have found through research and talking con mi abuela that the brown womyn in my family have an unexplored history. it is lost through time and that makes me sad.
i can recognize the colonizer & settler within me, within my family. but why can’t i learn about the brown side, the side that i feel closest to but far away from?
westrup-von hapsburg-sanchez-sada de la fuente-???
recognizing the ways in which my complicated family history has shaped my experience. my parents are half-white, born and raised in mexico aka culturally mexicana, citizens of mexico, immigrated to the U.S, and began their life on la frontera de tejas/US -privleged enough to have citizenship from my grandfather on my moms side who was born in california and who moved to Mexico during the Mexican Revolution.
my dads great grandfather brought the baptist church to fucking monterrey, nuevo leon. my great grandpa on my abuelitas side was a big time land owner in the state of Hidalgo and had all of his land taken away during the mexican revolution.
but what about my abuelita nini, aka rufina sada de la fuente? or my abuelita macrinca’s mama?
got fucked with a strapon last night for my first time
feeling really gr8 and fierce and i am going to butchfest this weekend, a naked unicorn party. when did this area get this kewl? o rite, it still sux.
but southern queerz do what we gotta do.
i am all about my butt l8r
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